I found out earlier this week that someone I know has borderline personality disorder. And I must say that it really explains a lot about this persons personality. To this person, everything is a major lifechanging event in life. A broken fingernail is a life crisis. Over time I had learned to just deal with it... and this person. Outrageous claims and emotional breakdowns over nothing were typical for this person. What really got me though was a total lack of ability to focus on anyone but themselves. There could be so much going on around them, but they were too focused on the broken fingernail to see anything of life around them.
This person went back to school because they lost their job. (This person does NOT go to TWU) They thought they needed something else to focus on. Yes... that was a good plan, but the focus never left their own fingernails and now this person has been thrown out of the degree prgram they were in. This person is now without a home, without a job, without anywhere to turn because they alienated everyone around them. I also found out that this person cuts. Cuts with a very sharp knife that they carry around with them for when they need to "feel alive." This person has turned to me for help and unfortunately I had to say no.
BPD can be really dangerous. Because they are so self absorbed, they fail to notice things around them. They aren't afraid to hurt themselves, but I don't know how likely the depression or mania would lead them to hurt someone else. What this person needs is hospitalization. This person's school advisor sent out emails to those of us who know this person and asked us to encourage hospitalization. The advisor recommended institutionalization. I'm not sure anyone could convince this person and if you mention hospital, they would think things are really bad and most likely turn even more self destructive. I'm fighting every instinct I have to help, to give advice, whatever. I know it's not "wasted" really, but I know this person will never do anything on their own to help themself.
Borderline personality disorder is a really serious mental illness. Signs of it include instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. People with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. This disease affects 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases.Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations.
So yeah, I feel at a bit of a loss myself. Typically I'm one who ignores my own stuff to help other people. It's weird to think of ignorning someone because I know I can't help. But when you're dealing with someone who has a mental illness, you really do need to be careful. it's just hard knowing that I'm becoming a social worker to help people and I can't do anything this time.
I don't think there is a comparison between you not helping this person and becoming a social worker. I have a friend who is a social worker and from what I've seen the key to being a good social worker seems to be the ability to be able to emotionaly detach yourself from someone, to not get to the point where you have an emotional investment in the person and therefore are able to help the person in an honest manner.
You already have an emotional connection to this person (whether friendship or other) and therefore I think the best bet is to safe guard yourself and your own family.
Let this person's social worker help them out. It's easier for them, and it is what they are there to do.
Posted by: Kat | July 08, 2007 at 10:00 PM