On my last entry on Diaryland, I was writing about a movie that Carl and I saw last night called Dear Frankie. It's the story about a mother who is desperate to protect her child. I wrote about how the movie touched me on levels I haven't thought about for a while. My daughter's father died just before Carl and I married in 2005 and I knew very well the feelings of the mother in the movie about how her son idolized his father. I feel the same way sometimes about my daughter's love for her father. I do not begrudge him her love. If he ever needed anything in his life it was love. But it pains me how he has become so much more in his death than he was in his life. And here I am struggling with life every day... having to do things for her every day... without his help. It sounds selfish, but I think that his suicide was far more selfish and I'm allowed my moments of weakness.
After I wrote about the movie, Carl and I watched the commentary on the deleted scenes of the movie. Carl is a big film buff and likes to hear the director's comments and watch why things were left in the movie and why they were cut. Sometimes watching these things gives you deeper insight into the movie and that was the case with me last night. Not only is the movie about the lengths a mother will go to protect her child, it is also about how far a child will go to protect his mother. It reminded me of the many times my own daughter has been there for me when I was feeling so low... there patting my shoulder or hugging me telling me that everything would be allright. Children are amazing. I went into this movie knowing the power of a parent's love for a child and the power of a child's love for a parent. But I went to bed realizing the power of the love for each other combined is a force to be reckoned with. And being a "new" mom again... I'm so lucky to get to experience that love all over again.
